After Alex
by ScarletCuteTiger
Summary: Sequel to I'm Your Lemonade - best to read that first. The Cola's write down their feelings after Alex commits suicide.


**Warning: This is quite sad**

**I had this idea almost as soon as i started writing I'm Your Lemonade, I think it works well.  
>I'm going to update the Cola's feelings in twos or threes.<br>Jacob and Dax HAD to go first though. **

* * *

><p><span>Jacob<span>

I guess it's all my fault really, I was the first to know about him and Clive and I should've understood. Because that's what they wanted. Understanding.

But I didn't. I gave them scorn because it was disgusting and wrong and unnatural. My little brother couldn't even be gay, nevermind in love with a complete nincompoop like Clive. At least that's what I thought.

But know I know. Lex was gay and he was in love with Clive. And now he's gone. My little brother took his own life to be with his boyfriend.

Course I wasn't the only one who was against them, practically everyone was. Even Owen and Tyrone, and they're usually open-minded. So basically Lex and Clive were bullied for being together.

Eventually little Clive couldn't take it any more so he topped himself. Which completely traumatised Alex since he was the one who found Clive's body.

Lex cried all through the funeral. The tears silently streaming down his face. After that he rarely stopped crying. He also stopped eating. Owen was worried that Alex would try and commit suicide too, so he never let him out of his sight. A month later and Owen was satisfied that Alex wasn't going to try anything.

A month and two days later I found Alex in a pool of his own blood. He had stabbed himself.

I miss him. I truly miss him. It's really my fault though. Even if I'd been the only one to accept Alex and Clive I don't think any of this would've happened. Though if I think about it I realise that I actually lost my little brother a long time before the last breath left his body.

If I could turn back time I would. But I can't.

I regret not being the brother I should have been.

Alexander James Teller, gone forever. And his brother let him go.

* * *

><p><span>Dax<span>

Clive was my first friend. My only friend before I went to Cola club. We never fought. I mean, yeah he was pretty geeky, we were chalk and cheese really but we were still best mates. Fourteen solid years of friendship.

Even when I became Gideon's best friend and me and Clive weren't as close we were still friends. Good old Clive had an answer for everything. He was always there for me.

Even when I started doing the furry thing, he just accepted me for who I was. He wasn't even mad at me when I had to leave him behind to the mercy of the bullies. And he even found me and my friends when he realised we were in trouble.

Overall he was an amazing person. I thought our friendship would survive everything. I was wrong...

when Clive and Alex announced that they were together we all hated them for it. But I could tell that Clive was hurt the most by me hating him. He'd always accepted me for who I was, why couldn't I do the same for him?

That's a good question. I wish I did now. Coz then neither of them would be dead.

No more Clive to help us with our homework, no more Clive to lecture us about how all of our powers should be impossible, no more Clive to conduct random experiments, no more Clive to blow up the science lab, no more Clive to tell Barry off for eating too much cake, no more Clive to be Clive, no more Clive to be Alex's boyfriend. No more Alex to grieve for Clive.

Sometimes I think it was a bit over the top that Alex killed himself over Clive, but then another part of me says that he must've really loved him.

Owen was prepared to die for me even if it was fake he still had to leave the Cola project behind and start a new life in Spain. Does that mean Owen loves me? Coz Clive and Alex said they love each other.

I miss them both really. Now that Alex is dead, Jake doesn't joke or laugh or even smile any more. What if Jake kills himself?

That would be rather messed up...

I wonder who would be after Jacob?

* * *

><p><strong>Reviews very much appreciated.<br>Arrie  
>xxx <strong>


End file.
